The Power of Words

Do for Others What God Does For You
by Max Lucado
You and I have the privilege to do for others what God does for us. How do we show people that we believe in them?

Show up. Nothing takes the place of your presence. Letters are nice. Phone calls are special, but being there in the flesh sends a message.
Do you believe in your kids? Then show up. Show up at their games. Show up at their plays. Show up at their recitals. It may not be possible to make each one, but it's sure worth the effort. Do you believe in your friends? Then show up. Show up at their graduations and weddings. Spend time with them. You want to bring out the best in someone? Then show up.

Listen up. You don't have to speak to encourage. The Bible says, "It is best to listen much, speak little" (James 1:19 TLB). We tend to speak much and listen little. There is a time to speak. But there is also a time to be quiet. That's what my father did. Dropping a fly ball may not be a big deal to most people, but if you are thirteen years old and have aspirations of the big leagues, it is a big deal. Not only was it my second error of the game, it allowed the winning run to score.

I didn't even go back to the dugout. I turned around in the middle of left field and climbed over the fence. I was halfway home when my dad found me. He didn't say a word. Just pulled over to the side of the road, leaned across the seat, and opened the passenger door. We didn't speak. We didn't need to. We both knew the world had come to an end. When we got home, I went straight to my room, and he went straight to the kitchen. Presently he appeared in front of me with cookies and milk. He took a seat on the bed, and we broke bread together. Somewhere in the dunking of the cookies I began to realize that life and my father's love would go on. In the economy of male adolescence, if you love the guy who drops the ball, then you really love him. My skill as a baseball player didn't improve, but my confidence in Dad's love did. Dad never said a word. But he did show up. He did listen up. To bring out the best in others, do the same, and then, when appropriate:

Speak up.
You have the power to change someone's life simply by the words that you speak. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21 NKJV). That's why Paul urges you and me to be careful. "When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger" (Eph. 4:29).

Earlier I gave you a test for love. There's also a test for the tongue. Before you speak, ask: Will what I'm about to say help others become stronger? You have the ability, with your words, to make a person stronger. Your words are to their soul what a vitamin is to their body. If you had food and saw someone starving, would you not share it? If you had water and saw someone dying of thirst, would you not give it? Of course you would. Then won't you do the same for their hearts? Your words are food and water! Do not withhold encouragement from the discouraged. Do not keep affirmation from the beaten down! Speak words that make people stronger. Believe in them as God has believed in you.


From A Love Worth Giving
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2002) Max Lucado

I never cease to be amazed at how right on time some things in life can be. The old me would have chalked it up to dumb luck, no more coincidences now,. I'm facing the power of words in my life right now,. The power to build up and the power to cut to the marrow.


I try so very hard to choose my words carefully when dealing with others. I try to think about the implications of what I say and I also try to appreciate how my words may be construed by the person receiving them. I have no control over the tongues of others and I suppose that's where some of the pain lies.


It's easy in theory to say that one cannot be offended unless one chooses to take offense. Practical application is not an easy thing to swallow, especially when there are words spoken that pierce heart and soul. I often wonder why I've made some of the choices that I now live with on a daily basis. I go over in my head how if I'd done this or that thing if my life would be more fulfilling, more peaceful, more simplistic or full of much more love than what I see and feel right now.


The truth is that it's a moot point,. I'll never know because we don't get "do overs" in this life. I am the sum total of all of my life experiences. The good, the bad, the ecstasy and the painful are all intricately interwoven into the tapestry that is my life. I'm learning to live with what life hands me albeit not always gracefully. Oh I've made a funny. :-) Heather and graceful do not belong in the same sentence. See how I do that? I admit how I feel and then to take away the sting, I poke fun at myself as if that makes it all better.


How do you choose to use your words? Do you use them to build others up or do you choose to use them as instruments of destruction? You do have a choice in each and every interaction that you have in your life. The scripture that Max quoted earlier is very true: Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Let that soak in.....my words have the power to give life.

My words have the power to kill. You may be thinking how can words kill? It's really quite simple. Words can kill the spirit. Words can strip away self-esteem. Words change things in ways that can't be rectified. If I say that I love my husband or he says that he loves me and either of us use our words to tear each other down....that isn't love. It's critical and ultimately it will kill the love. It's the same in our friendships. How long do you think that a "friend" will stick around if the relationship is one where words are a type of warfare? Not long.


So how will I choose to use my words today? I think that my words won't be wasted if there isn't anything good for me to say. Lord knows I spent far too many years using them in ways that I know God didn't intend for me to use them. I'm too tired to play games.


I long for words that are encouraging. I long for His words, the words that breathe life into what otherwise would be an empty and dark soul. I long for the wisdom to deal with destructive words. Wisdom that doesn't tell me to run or withdraw.

Times of Growth and Pain

I'm cycling again. It's part of how I'm made and I have to deal with it. I can't express the depth of depression that accompanies these cycles. Chronic sleep deprivation, thoughts of not being good enough, the old fear that says that I'll never have anything different than I've ever had; these are the things that smother me and thrust me into that dark place that I fear the most. Standing on the edge of the abyss and wondering if this will be the time that I surrender and fall head first into the insanity in front of me.

The only thing that sustains me is faith. God hasn't brought me this far to let go. I know that He's just and only allows what I can bear. I know that He's here surrounding me with His love and grace and even though I feel as though I'm not strong enough to do this again, that He protects me and refines me. Growth is painful but I don't have to run or hide behind the mask of darkness that I once wore.

Sing Me A Love Song

The tension is thick in the air making it hard to see
The fear of what is to come and what will become of me
I say a prayer, help me not run away
Will You please hold me

CHORUS
And sing me a love song again
Say the words that heal my heart
Sing me your love song and then
Let your words remind me who I am

You've never failed me before why do I feel betrayed
If I'd close my heart to you now the darkness would have it's way
I crave your voice help me not fall away
Will you please hold me

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Cause you are all I need
And all that I want is you with me
You are all I need
And all that I want is you with me

CHORUS

We've been REALLY naughty at work...hee hee hee

We have been inundated with a crazy amount of telemarketing calls at work lately. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but with our busy time upon us, we tried everything imaginable to come to a peaceful resolution with a minimum of hair pulling. After MONTHS of politely asking to have our number removed from their call lists, the wonderful and very kind lady that answers the phones finally reached her breaking point last week.

T. decided that since the telemarketer's would not do the right thing and quit calling us, she was going to introduce them to natural consequences. She is not a mean person. She's not a person who curses other people out. She's very pragmatic though.

The following is an excerpt from what proved to be the last call received as of Wednesday of this past week. It made me laugh until I literally cried.

*ringing phone* "Business name, how may I help you?" "Unsuspecting telemarketer who informs T that he can get her a reduced rate on her credit card for ONLY $990." T-"You can get me credit cards with reduced rates? How does that work?" Telemarketer spiel. T-"Well, my name isn't Mrs. Lopez, it's Diane Anderson! How did you find me?" T-"You have machines that call people? Wow! That is so cool. Where did you get the machines?" T-"Yes, I have LOTS of credit cards! How many? I have 18 credit cards but my husband has them locked in a safe because I'm a recovering shopaholic who has been in therapy for 3 years. What he doesn't know is that I know the combination. Do you know what a shopaholic is? Well if you know what that means then you know that I just can't help myself! I just HAVE to spend money! How much do I owe? I have $276,000 and some change on all 18 cards!" "Ya know, I have a question...if I send let's say 10+ people to you who don't qualify and have to pay the $990 fee would you consider splitting the money with me? You would?! Cause ya know, I have friends who have friends in really low places if you know what I mean. I could get you all sorts of business if you'd split the fee with me." "My bank? Oh my bank just asks me when I come in how much money I want and then they have the guy carry my money out to my car in a briefcase for me. But I don't like them because they are constantly calling my husband and saying, "Do you know what she bought today? She bought a mink coat! Or she just came in with some new earrings. And I loves me some earrings!"

You get the jest. She kept the guy on the phone for approximately 15-20 minutes on the phone. Finally, the telemarketer's supervisor told him to get off the phone so T asks to speak to him too because she was so confused that she just really didn't understand what they were offering her. She then went on to say that she didn't want to save money...she wanted to spend, spend, spend! And with all the money they were going to save her, she'd just buy a brand new Infinity. She then passed the supervisor to me on the premise of her "friend" wanting to know about their program.

I'm not as good at the being fast on my feet when it comes to a big line of junk so I got hung up on in less than 3 minutes! LOL Maybe it was my name...Juekke (pronounced Hookey) Lopez and the fact that I pretended to be very paranoid by stating that I didn't want my creditors finding me...that's how I ended up in this God forsaken state.

The sad part is that it took us wasting their time one time and we've not received even one call. Now I know there are some who are probably not going to think that this was handled in a kind way. You are entitled to your opinion. When our office is getting in excess of 10-15 calls every afternoon...it's time for something to happen.

So! If you want to get blacklisted by the telemarketer's, just play along and keep them on the phone for as long as possible!

On another note, since things are starting to call down again. I'll be writing more. Please keep my friend Pat and her family in your prayers. I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

It's Storming!!

The weather is mirroring how I feel inside today. Sunny for a brief bit and now the clouds have rolled in, the thunder is deafening and there are lightening bolts crashing down. I've been very emotional lately. I hate it when my moods bounce around from one extreme to the other. My best friends home burned to the ground two Sundays ago and it's hit me very hard. I see a kind and generous heart with a husband and two children who literally lost everything except for the clothes on their backs.

The flip side of it is the incredible outpouring of love, concern and generosity that people have poured out in their lives. I know that God is going to take care of my dear friend. I know that He has a purpose even if I can't see it. I trust that He will make things right in His good time.

There is so much to be grateful for in my life. Maybe listing them out will improve my outlook this evening.

I am grateful for the grace of God.

I am very grateful that I have a home to come to at the end of my day.

I am grateful for the love of my family.

I am grateful that I have a career where I am valued and appreciated.

I am grateful for my husband who I love more than myself.

I am grateful that God didn't give up on me and leave me to my destructive past.

I am grateful that each day, I find a little more courage to forgive and try to forget.

Thank you, Lord for your forgiveness and perfect love. Thank you for the sacrifice of your Son. Thank you for giving me the courage to persevere even when I don't feel that I have the strength to take even one more step. Thank you most of all for the tiny glimpses you grant me of how You see me.

"Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk that counts." James 3:13

“As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving.”

Basic Text, p. 39

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Our behavior toward other people in our life is a mirror of our behavior toward ourselves. When we demand perfection of ourselves, we come to demand it from others around us, too. As we strive to repair and heal our lives in recovery, we may also expect others to work just as hard and to recover at the same pace as we do. And just as we are often unforgiving of our own mistakes, we may shut out friends and family members when they don’t meet our expectations.

Working the steps helps us understand our own limitations and our humanity. We come to see our failures as human mistakes. We realize that we will never be perfect, that we will, at times, disappoint ourselves and others. We hope for forgiveness.

As we learn to gently accept ourselves, we can start to view others with the same accepting and tolerant heart. These people, too, are only human, trying to do their best and sometimes falling short.

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Just for today: I will treat others with the tolerance and forgiveness I seek for myself.

I've not taken the time to really participate much when it comes to the recovery community lately. I would apologize but the reality is that I am standing at a crossroad and am unsure as to how to proceed. This reading really hit home so I've decided to share my thoughts.

Early in my recovery process, I made some really bad decisions.

Those things involved:

1. Expecting others to forget the past.

2. Expecting others to drop everything and immediately be open to a relationship.

3. Expecting others to forgive me right now! LOL
4. Resenting it when others didn't do what I thought they should do.

In a nutshell, I thought that since I forgave them for the perceived wrongs that had been done to me...they were somehow obligated to respond in kind. I spent a long 6+ months truly confused as to why I was getting a response that I didn't think was, (insert whiny tone) fair. *shaking my head*

Today I understand why I can only try to treat others the way that I would like to be treated. Wow. I said what I think and feel and life didn't come to a grinding halt! :0) Isn't it interesting how all of the old fear begins to fade away when we give our lives to God?

I'm Still Here

It's been a long last couple of weeks! Work has been good but very hectic. I'm still trying to find my legs with extra responsibilities. I'm holding my own but still a little unsure at times. I think it's probably normal, it's just not something that I'm supposed to admit. I'm me though and part of being well is owning my true feelings. I know that I'm doing the best that I am capable of doing and for now it has to be good enough.

I'm happy to report that at least one of the kittens found a new home today. Tigger went to live with a lovely little girl named Meadow. Tigger was like melted butter in her arms. I always feel so good to see one of my babies find a good home. I just really wish that people would quit throwing these precious, innocent babies away like they don't matter.

I normally do not use this as a medium to discuss recent news events but this stuff with our President and that bigot of a Professor from Cambridge makes me just ill. Am I the only person who recognizes that if I had the same situation as the Prof. I would EXPECT to show my id? This man act like he was strip searched because he had to show the officer his license. The professor is the one who began to accuse the officer of being a racist from the onset of the incident. The officer had to follow this man in his house. Law enforcement officers cannot let a potential suspect out of their line of sight! It had NOTHING to do with his skin color, it was a safety issue! If I CHOSE to continue to follow the officer out of my home when everything had been resolved and act in a belligerent manner....they would haul my white butt to jail. It's that simple.

Professor Gates has said that this incident was due to profiling. That's a big load of hooey. Profiling would be, he's walking down the road and he gets stopped and interrogated by the police for simply walking down the street while they let white folk who are walking by go on their way. Profiling would be if a middle eastern looking individual is the ONLY person searched at the airport while boarding a plane. Having a police officer respond to a break in and being asked to show your id is NOT profiling! I'm not even a college graduate and I don't have difficulty comprehending the difference.

WHEN, are we going to get to the point when we don't feel guilty about calling someone who is not white a bigot when their behavior indicates that they obviously have a bias against white people? From what I've read and seen, this Professor has a major chip on his shoulder. It's HIS issue and he needs to get help. I find what he has said and done highly offensive. How DARE he lump all white people into the racist category!! He is no better than those he accuses and he is perpetuating the cycle of hate. So, to the Professor: You my dear can kiss my white hiney! I'm not the bigot. I'm not the racist. YOU are! It makes me ill that you are using this incident to further bigotry.

Getting off my soap box. :0) Let me have it! LOL

One more thing. I would like to ask for prayers for my oldest best friend. It would be inappropriate for me to discuss the details because it's her life, but she's facing some health issues. Have a great weekend!

Forgive Me-Rebecca St. James and BarlowGirl

Giving Thanks in Times of Trouble

Today finds me grateful for the gift of knowing Jacob and watching as he grew from a child to a young man. I will always remember his mischievous grin and bright blue eyes that danced with laughter and love. Jacob went to be with the Lord at approximately 1:00 a.m. this morning. His body was just too traumatized to survive. I've laughed and cried. My heart is with his family and I'm going to ask those of you who pray to please pray for his family and for his friend, M. Jacob was a very forgiving person and from listening to his family last night, I'm certain that Jacob wouldn't want M to carry the burden of his death. He would want for M to learn something from what happened and move forward with his life.

I now know that Jacob knew Christ as his Savior, so we'll see Jacob again. There is such peace in that knowledge. My SIL, Jacob's step mom for over 15 years said that Jacob's passing was very, very peaceful. They are all heartbroken, but we serve a God that takes situations that leave us asking why and then takes that hurt and turns it into something beautiful.

I wasn't close with Jacob, but I did love him. It was hard not to love Jacob. He just drew others to him with his peaceful spirit and forgiving and loving nature. There were probably 50+ friends of Jacob at the hospital last night. It spoke volumes to me about how loved he really was and I hope that his family can find some comfort in knowing that he is loved by so many.

I know that God will use this situation to bring glory and honor to His name. I really hope that these young adults that loved Jacob will remember Jacob should they ever decide to drink and drive.

Today finds me grateful for the following:

Jacob's life. Thank you Lord for allowing me to know him, even if it was just a little bit.

The joy of watching my ss's becoming responsible young men.

My husband who I love with all my heart.

And most importantly, the gift of life that Jesus offers to all through His death.

I won't say goodbye, Jacob. Instead, I'll say that I will see you again in a little while.

May you all have a wonderful 4Th filled with family and friends. Stay safe and enjoy your holiday!

Call For Prayer Warriors

Please pray for Jacob. He's 26 years old and he's fighting for his life. He was in a terrible vehicle accident one week ago this past Friday. He messed up. He got drunk and then got in the vehicle with someone else who was drunk. The long and short of it is that he's hanging on but it's not looking too good. Please pray for his family, specifically that God will comfort them and reveal His presence to each of them. Thanks to all.

Let It Fade

Let It Fade lyrics-Jeremy Camp

Have you been walking on a surface that's uncertain?
Have you helped yourself to everything that's empty?
You can't live this way too long.
There's more than this, more than this.
Have you been standing on your own feet too long?
Have you been looking for a place where you belong?
You can rest, you will find rest.
You can rest, you will find rest.

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade.

Have you been holding on to what this world has offered?
Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?
It will be gone, forever gone.
It will be gone, it will be gone

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade.

Let it fade.

Are you carrying the weight too much, are you running from the call?
Let it fade, Oh yeah.

You can rest, you will find rest.
You can rest you will find rest.

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade.

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Have you been standing on your own feet too long?
Have you been looking for a place where you belong?

The above lyrics very aptly describe my life before I accepted the grace that God offers each of us. It's such a comfort to rest in His arms. It doesn't matter how crazy my life gets now, it just takes a moment to let go and let God.